This poem was an enjoyable read, but as other reviewers have said, it does need to keep within the rhyme scheme. The omission of the article in the last line did throw me a bit. However, I liked your "pink sky" image - quite unusual.
I don't think there's much else you could do except to retool some of the wording. Otherwise, an intriguing poem!
Points: 1564
Reviews: 181
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